Archive | November, 2013

Atos Assessment

1 Nov

The title, will in no doubt be reaching your life at some point. When it does, the fear will get you and all the reports and life story reports you read will add to the fear. I wanted to tell my experience of my assessment for PIP, replacement for DLA.

I was given a home visit for the only reason of Atos cancelling my appointment less than 24 hours notice and me needing my husband with me. He is a lecturer and there was no availability after the original date.

A new date for a home visit was set and I waited nervously for my female assessor to arrive. I was keeping everything crossed for a friendly woman, I was dreading the official type, you know the sort, hair and bra straps pulled too tight!! I got lucky, the assessor arrived and she was relaxed and friendly, yay! She sat down and explained she was a Nurse with many years experience on the wards and now worked for Atos.
The assessment was in basic terms a verbal version of the form you originally fill out upon application, so not too taxing (fatigue permitting!!). She wrote verbatim and read back for me to confirm.
She was thorough and appeared understanding and explained fatigue and how many people don’t understand it. She talked to me about my impending self catheterisation and said it would help but understood the apprehension. I was overall relieved at the end and was grateful she brought with her a calm and relaxed attitude.

I was, however, unprepared for one aspect of the assessment. My dog….
My dog Tim, lovely nutty boy that he is decided as a thank you for coming present, to take a big poo right next to her. This isn’t usual behaviour for him and luckily she was very understanding and has dogs, phew. I was very embarrassed.
Hope that didn’t go against me :/

In short, everyone’s experience is different I know but I wanted to post a positive assessment experience for those awaiting PIP. Of course, the most positive experience will be the result which I haven’t received yet!

Identity

1 Nov

I started thinking about this post a while ago but just couldn’t start it. I have been struggling with every aspect of my life for a couple of months and it has prevented me from posting. I was worried that readers would think, blimey she is miserable, I don’t want to read etc. but today, I realised that it may be of some comfort to someone else thinking and feeling similar things. I must stop thinking negatively about what is completely normal in my situation.

To start with, I feel since diagnosis my health has deteriorated quite a lot and that is frightening and frustrating. Emotionally, I barely recognise myself whilst trying to dig the same old me out every day from the pit that MS is creating.

My future? Well, what can I say about this? I want and need a future that vaguely represents the me before but I have been confused, upset and again frustrated as many doors close due to reality and uncertainty. Facing the facts is hard and it is made all the more difficult when you and no one else can tell you what may happen as part of the disease progression.

This has in a way always been the case as being in limbo for an extraordinary amount of time has left me battered, unsure, untrusting and frightened.

I am leaving this blog as titled at the moment because although out of diagnostic limboland I am far from being out of life limbo.